My favorite tweets of the week from comedians and comedy writers.
RT if carrot cake is a vegetable #gaffiganshow
— Jim Gaffigan Show (@gaffiganshow) September 2, 2015
Retweeted immediately. Didn’t think twice.
Hey #kimdavis, God put you in jail to think about your decisions. Most would say the law did that but it was God using the law. Amen.
— Chris Redd (@Reddsaidit) September 4, 2015
Chris Redd is a Chicago comedian. Go see him!
Traffic in LA has gotten so bad it took me 3 hrs. to go 23 miles yesterday. Thats 3 hours I could have spent sitting at my desk not writing.
— Merrill Markoe (@Merrillmarkoe) September 5, 2015
Merrill Markoe is one of my favorite humor writers with books like What the Dogs Have Taught Me and How to Be Hap Hap Happy Like Me and many other things. All the hoo-ha around David Letterman’s retirement failed to mention that the show’s greatness and innovations were in large part Merrill Markoe’s. Reminds me I should not go to favorite author book signings because I always say something that makes me cringe even seventeen years later. When Merrill Markoe was in town in 1998 to sign her Guide to Love, I bought copies for everyone in my family. When it was my turn to approach the table, I gushingly let it slip that I subscribed to every magazine she ever contributed to (a large number) so I would never miss anything she wrote. She eyed the eight copies of Guide to Love in my arms with concern. “Am I signing all of these to you?” I wouldn’t have minded if she did. Don’t even ask what happened when I went to Judy Blume’s book signing.
Got a really mean email from a guy whose last name is “Butts” so I guess what I’m saying is the good and bad in life kind of balance out.
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) September 3, 2015
One of my favorite Chicago Tribune writers. You think Rex Huppke is writing about business and it ends up being really funny business.
When God invented excitement, he must have been in Wheeling, Illinois.
— jason alexander (@IJasonAlexander) September 3, 2015
Wait, why Wheeling of all places? I tweeted Jason Alexander to ask. If I hear back I will post an update.
Tom Brady got off right after Fantasy football draft weekend whoever drafted him in the 4th round is crying tears of joy
— Jay Washington (@MrJayWashington) September 3, 2015
Go see Jay Washington next week at WIP Theater!
I’ve had a whole day of feeling like I just woke up
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) September 4, 2015
Yup.
On travel days I eat as if sitting on a plane burns cals.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) September 4, 2015
Laurie Kilmartin is an Emmy-nominated writer for Conan, bestselling author and stand-up comedian. You need to see how she handled it when someone threw a dinner roll at her head during a performance.
NYC is the only place I’ve ever been where the pedestrians have road rage
— Mike Lebovitz (@mikelebovitz) September 3, 2015
Unfortunately, Chicago lost Mike Lebovitz to New York just last month. Did you see him on Last Comic Standing this summer? He was most excellent. They made a mistake when they let him go.
Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear because he was a tortured painter. Kayne West wore a pleather skirt #artists
— Matteo Lane (@MatteoLane) August 31, 2015
Another great comedian Chicago recently lost to New York.
I don’t want to just stand on the sidelines. I also want to wait in the car.
— Prescott Tolk (@prescotttolk) August 25, 2015
A great comedian Chicago lost to L.A. He writes for Comedy Central’s Why? with Hannibal Buress. This tweet pretty much sums up me at any social gathering.
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I also pulled some tweets from the archives that have nothing to do with this week, but I liked them anyway:
Tonette and I laughed so hard last night watching Fred Klett, I thought my cheeks were going to cramp up. #WalkerInaugural
— Scott Walker (@ScottWalker) January 4, 2015
Marveling that I have something in common with Scott Walker. I have also face-cramped at a Fred Klett show and I even have a t-shirt announcing my membership in his cult. (Fred Klett’s cult, not Scott Walker’s). Sadly, for those of us who avoid water unless it’s coming from a faucet, Fred Klett mainly works on cruises, but if you ever have a chance to see this Wisconsin-based comedian, please go. I guarantee your money back if your face isn’t cramping from laughter within five minutes. Love. Him. (Fred Klett, not Scott Walker.)
friend asked me what a “water based solution” is, and i answered with “drowning yourself” now we’re all confused
— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) October 20, 2012
Alison Stevenson is a comedian and writer. So good. Just loved. That is all.
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